Archive for May, 2009

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Be the Best You Can Be

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Sounds like an old Army commercial, doesn’t it? Be the best you can be.

Being the Best of Who You Can Be

The word best is relative. Some people think that they become better people when they’ve climbed the ladder of success and reached the top. Some, on the other hand, believe that a happy family life will make them the best that they can be. The word is actually dependent on your aspirations in life. Admittedly, we all have different goals, and some of these goals may be harder to attain than the others. 

Whatever our dreams are, we have to know that we only get better when we become stronger. Becoming better, whether physically, spiritually, or mentally, will, in turn, all depend on how we are as a person.

To start with, we have to learn to accept who we are and what our limitations are. We all have different talents and we need to know what our niche in life is so we can work on it. Our life’s experiences have shaped who we’ve become, and because we have different experiences, we all have unique talents and abilities. Someone who grew up in squalor may say that they have become more street-smart, a successful person may boast of his business abilities, and a mother may say that she is quite adept at balancing her time at work and with her family. Whatever it is, we’ve learned to cope with life because we simply had to. And in our efforts to meet all the demands placed on us, we had to learn the ways in which we can meet the expectations that others have of us.

The problem is that many people don’t want to accept who they are and what they’ve become. They sometimes let their past affect them, as if they were ashamed of the very thing that helped them become the person that they are. Living in shame is not a way to becoming our ultimate selves. If we do, we will spend our lives trying to hide our true nature. That’s simply no way to live!

We must know that there are just things we cannot change. These things should teach us to be proud of whom we are. After all, when we go through great misery, we come out of it filled with wisdom. We must share our story, because at least we can say that we had it in us to succeed despite the things that happened to us. We should be proudest of the things that we were once ashamed of. I assure you, people will see us with respect. They will know us as a person who can do it. This is the greatest gift we can share.

Take a look at the world around you and get to know the most successful individuals out there. You’ll soon learn that many of them were once selfish individuals. They’ve become who they are because they learned from their mistakes, and they shared these mistakes with people so that others may learn from it. They’ve become the unselfish gurus who thirst to give guidance to those who want to become as successful as they are. They’ve earned the respect of millions of people, and we all could be just like them if we learn to accept our mistakes and share our talents to those who need it. If things just worked this way, only then can we truly say that it’s a wonderful world.

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The Benefits of Gratitude

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Being Grateful About LIfes Little Blessings

Studies reveal that being grateful benefits your health, with effects lasting for months at a time. Spiritual gurus, psychologists, and inspirational speakers are all in agreement with the belief that gratitude is the main ingredient for a lifetime’s worth of success and happiness. The question now is, do you know how to adopt an attitude of gratitude? With the recent economy spiraling downwards, it is much easier to focus on what you don’t have, on what you can never achieve, and with just how many limitations are inhibiting you. In fact, it’s much easier to complain about life’s downfalls rather than see the silver lining behind every dark cloud.

If you are a believer in fate, then you must have an idea on how many opportunities you can have if you just take a moment to look for and recognize them. To learn more about gratitude, you should simply look at the following things you can be thankful for:

1. Clothes to wear
2. Food to eat
3. A house to go home to
4. Loving friends and family to lean on
5. Life

Of all the things mentioned above, life is your biggest gift. As long as you are still able to wake up each day to stand up and start your work, then you also have the power to change all the negative aspects within your zone. A good exercise would be to name all the things you still have before you go to bed at night. Of course, you should also never beat yourself up on taking things for granted. Growing up, you might have heard your parents tell you to think of the homeless children that are out there in the streets, wishing that they were in your place. Thinking about them didn’t change anything. In fact, your thoughts never did any good for those suffering. Ironically, many of you grew up with the notion that you must have everything just because you are able to. Talk about gluttony of every form!

The secret to happiness is acting on what needs to be done just so you are able to lengthen your list of things to be thankful for. Reading this article, for instance, is another one for your list. Realistically, not everybody will get the chance to read things that will help them grow as a person. You had that chance, and that makes you even more unique.

Appreciation, though hard as it may seem, brings more pleasure than it does pain. Start with the small stuff and work your way from there. It does take practice, but like all efforts, the result will outweigh everything else. The first step to make a better you, a better life, and a happier disposition is to start right now. This is no time to procrastinate. Life is just too short, and good things will pass you by if you let yourself get pulled down by its weight. Get your brain’s limbic system started, and let happy emotions flood this part of your head. By knowing what you have and what you can achieve, you can give yourself a pat on the back because you now have learned one of life’s most valuable lessons, and that is gratitude.

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Time Management Basics

Friday, May 29th, 2009

Optimizing Your Time and Keep Yourself Sane!

The best way to make full use of your time is to prioritize the goals you first need to achieve. Most of the time, we feel that we have too many things to do and too many requirements to fulfill.  When we feel overwhelmed, we often just give up and choose to do nothing as an alternative. Instead, we sulk and complain about the load of work we have. Mind you, complaining is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, airing out our feelings can be very healthy. There’s a fine line, however, between constantly complaining and blowing off steam. Yes, we do need to let out our emotions every so often. But when we use this excuse to delay work, then we are simply wasting our precious time.

Remember when your parents told you that you can never turn time back? Growing up, I personally thought that this was such a cliché. Yes, we could never take time back. So what? Big deal! Only when I had responsibilities of my own did I realize what this statement really meant. Finally, I caught on with the wisdom of the adults. Knowing that I had too many things to do with too little time did I come to discover just how precious each moment is. The more time we waste, the more our tasks will pile up. If we keep putting off things for tomorrow, we might end up with responsibilities up to our necks. By then, what do we actually do? There’s this word in Spanish that some people use. The act of putting things off is called the mañana habit. By definition, this Spanish word simply means tomorrow. Having to constantly convince ourselves that we can do things tomorrow is a type of habit that everyone should get rid of.

How exactly do we allot the time for each and every responsibility? How do we achieve everything while still having time for ourselves? Like everything important in our lives, it starts with a list. When we have a list, we are able to see the bigger picture. Then, you need to set your personal and business goals. Below each goal are the steps we must undertake to get to the end.

Once the list is made, put the piece of paper on a wall. Make sure that you constantly glimpse this portion of the wall. Life places so many demands on each of us. When we don’t look at the list, we will definitely forget about it in our attempt to meet each new demand. Oftentimes, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We work ourselves to the bone, until we become exhausted.

It is therefore important to optimize our time simply because we have to take care of ourselves. We need time with our loved ones and we need some place to recuperate from all the stress. The only way to do this is when we know that we don’t leave anything half done. Celebrate life and do it now! This is only possible when we get to grasp the importance of time.

It’s only through management of our time that we can literally “make” time for ourselves. Without this time, we won’t be able to make those self improvement changes that we strive for.

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Connect with a Hug

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

Do you believe in the power of hugs. Think back on how hugs felt as a child.

The main belief in Kabbalah is that the entire humanity is made up of shards of one whole soul. This means that man shares a portion of something that is much bigger than they are. What does this imply? It simply tells us that we are all connected in one way or another. Believers of the law of attraction say that we are connected to each other biologically, to the world chemically, and to the universe atomically. Whatever our personal beliefs are, there is one thing that holds true, and that is we all live through the power of connection.

The problem now lies in the fact that most of us suppose that we should live apart from the rest. We may interact with other people on a daily basis, but at the end of the day, we choose to handle and face our problems all on our own. Standing up for what we believe in and being accountable for the choices we make is an entirely good trait to have, but there’s a fine line between being courageous in standing up for ourselves and pushing people away simply because we don’t want to involve them in our personal issues.

Fact is, we need connections with other people, particularly with those who care for us. Even babies know this most basic need. Studies prove that babies who grow up with the power of touch become happier and healthier individuals. As adults, we have to know the importance of human contact. A hug makes a world of difference in a person’s outlook in life. Hugs connect people beyond space and beyond time. With two arms wrapped around our body, friendships can deepen and become more meaningful.

Time and distance are immaterial when it comes to connection. Though hugs may not be as easy to do for some people, we have to know that touch is a part of our five senses. A touch does not only serve our cognitive needs to familiarize ourselves more with the world, it also gives us a sense of having a richer experience in life. Touch therapists swear by it, saying that it also does wonders to our health.

The importance is, we need to know how to communicate with others beyond language. After all, words only go so far. Physical communication is way to send forth a message. With a mere embrace, we can tell people about what we really think of them. The hypothalamic area of our brain will experience a reduction of activity. When stress is present in our lives, we need a way to relax. Whatever method you employ, there is no better cure for it than a hug.

So, if you find yourself in the crossroads of your life, seek out a friend or a family member. Ask for their comfort with the simple use of their two arms. Wrap them around your waist and immediately feel the connection with another kindred soul. Try it and see for yourself just how powerful and miraculous this simple gesture can be.

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Snap Out of a Bad Mood

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

Feeling a bit cranky these days with the pressures of a bad economy? Don’t let the weight of the world keep you in a permanent funk.

Here’s how to break uut of a bad mood!

Bad moods are the dumps. No one likes bad moods and even more so, no one wants to be around someone who’s feeling sour. A bad mood is a great way to bring you – and everyone around you – down a dwindling spiral. So how do you shake off a bad mood?

It’s easy! Just try out one of these simple ideas to turn your frown upside down:

1. Get dressed. That’s right. Get up, take a shower, put on some nice clothes and gussy yourself up to the nines.

  • Studies have shown that your mood has a lot to do with your self-image. How different do you think your self-image is between a just-rolled-out-of-bed look and a ready-to-hit-the-ground-running look?

  • By getting dressed and doing what it takes to make yourself look good on the outside, you feel better on the inside. When you feel better on the inside, your mood changes significantly and you’re ready to face the day.

2. Get moving. Exercise releases hormones that help alter your mood. Cleaning your space gets you moving and makes you feel better about your surroundings. It doesn’t really matter what you do; just get up, get out, and get moving.

  • Many times your bad mood can be amplified by your lack of movement. Getting up and doing something, whether it’s exercising or even walking over to the nearest coffee shop, can give you a big mood boost.

3. Read a book. Reading a book takes you to a different place and allows you to step into someone else’s shoes. Why not pick up a book by your favorite author and let them transport you out of your bad mood for an hour or so?

4. Meditate. Deep breathing exercises and a focused mind can break you out of any sour mood. Remember back in grade school when you were taught to take deep breaths and count to 10 when you got angry? It was actually for a very good reason.

  • When focusing on one thing and breathing deeply, our bodies tend to respond in a positive way by relaxing and releasing tension.

5. Hang out with friends. What are friends for? Be around any of your good friends for any length of time and you’ll be snapped out of that bad mood so fast you won’t even know what hit you.

6. Laugh. There’s no possible way that you can laugh and stay in a bad mood. It’s proven that your emotions follow your actions, which is why many therapists recommend taking action to cure things like anxiety and stress. Next time you’re in a bad mood, try laughing.

  • I guarantee that you can’t stay in your bad mood after more than 5 minutes of continuous laughter!

7. Treat yourself. Do something just for you. You deserve it anyway. The key is to just go a little overboard and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Have fun with it and make it memorable.

  • Go shopping for one of your favorite articles of clothing and splurge a little if you can afford it.
  • Have a massage or spa treatment. Similar to the meditation, this is a great tool to relax and break you out of whatever might be dragging you down.

  • If you’re short on funds, go dream shopping. Go to one of the most expensive stores around and try on clothes or go test drive your dream car. Give yourself a reason to get back into the swing of things and get rolling again.

  • Get a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge.

While there are many other ways to shake yourself out of a bad mood, these are a few great ways to start. Try some of them next time you’re feeling down. Better yet, see how many of them you can make it through before your bad mood has completely vanished.

My guess is you might only make it to the second tip, then you’re just doing it because it’s fun!

Use these tips as tricks to lifting your spirits. Also, go and find a volunteer effort you can join. By giving to others, you can stop thinking about your own problems. Who knows, maybe you’ll return to find yourself in a calmer place!

Tags: Self Improvement, Personal Development

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Create and Enjoy Spare Time for Yourself

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

“What is spare time?”, you ask as you lurch from one task to another.

With the very busy world that we live in, it’s often hard to squeeze in some quality time for ourselves. Some people work hard and don’t get enough rest for months at a time. If you look at statistics, the number of breakdowns experienced by people continues to increase. Why? It’s simply because people have forgotten to take care of themselves. They work and take care of their duties thinking that they don’t need a break. They find that finishing a task is more imperative than giving themselves a moment’s breather. They continue to trudge through life, until one day, they simply collapse and lose control.

I’m all for hard work and determination. Success can only be attained if these two traits are present. But we also need to know when to say that enough is enough. Our minds need to rest, or else it can fail us when we most need it. In fact, universities recommend that students study ahead of time. Last minute cramming can lead to lack of sleep. On the day of the test, many of these students have had total mental blackouts, instances wherein everything they read about and studied for just leaves their mind. Everything has simply flown out the window, and everything they’ve worked for has become moot.

If there’s one way to enjoy life, it’s knowing the importance of rest. We do need to fulfill all our responsibilities. But we also need to learn how to enjoy life and bask in its unique moments, lest we forget what we’re really here for. We are all blessed with friends and family. If we don’t give ourselves enough time to spend with them, then we may as well watch all our relationships crumble. No one wants this to happen to them. While many do go on vacations with their loved ones, they also take their work with them. This simply isn’t quality time.

So, how do we actually get to enjoy our spare time? Here are a few tips to follow:

  • Inform everyone at work so that they will know not to bother you.
  • Finish what needs to be done and keep the pending items safe in a drawer.
  • Write down what you need to work on when you get back.
  • Know that your friends, family and loved ones are just as important as your work.
  • Give yourself time to reflect on your life and work out ways in which you can balance everything.
  • Keep yourself surrounded with friends during your spare time to lessen the chances of thinking about your responsibilities.
  • Learn how to organize your life.
  • Learn to ask for help when you have difficulty sorting something out.

The most important thing to know here is that we’re not alone. We have people we can count on, as long as we also know when to help a person in need. Your friends are there to help you rejuvenate your soul and keep you from breaking down. Life just seems less tough when you have someone to lean on. Remember, as we enjoy our spare time, we need not feel guilty. We simply are enjoying life and we are giving ourselves a chance to recharge and bring back the enthusiasm we have for work.

Good luck. Read the rest of my blog (in your spare time!!!)

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Finding a Moment to Relax

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

If you follow a very busy schedule, as most people do, you sometimes just need to get away from it all. You’ll need time to recuperate and recharge whatever energy you’ve spent. As the world gets smaller, the demands placed on you ironically increases. This inversely proportional relationship is what can astound you. There may be days that you’ll feel unable to meet all the requirements and deadlines you have to fulfill. During these turbulent times, you’ll need to take a step back and take a moment’s breather.
 
To keep your sanity, you must have a crib sheet of helpful tips that will serve as your anchor. You definitely will need time away from it all, a place where no noise and phone calls can interrupt your quiet thoughts. Common sense dictates that you need to give your brain a chance to unwind. Strategies may differ, of course, because of varying interests. Some people prefer watching TV over reading, while others feel the need to keep their hands busy to help them relax.

If you are an avid reader, choose a book that gets you excited and enthusiastic. Self-help reads may come into play here. There are so many writers out there who are more than willing to share their ideas on how to relax. All you need to do is go to your nearest bookstore and purchase yourself a copy of one of these books. If, on the other hand, you enjoy daydreaming, then give yourself time to think of happy thoughts. Set a quota for yourself. A good suggestion would be to have at least three happy thoughts daily. You could think about your future plans or happy moments. Whatever it may be, just make sure that these get you to once again stand up and face the day with a smile on your face.

The most popular tactic that people employ nowadays is a massage. This is very much like meditating. These two things have been known to effectively relax the muscles in your body. So, after a late night’s work, drive yourself to a spa and ask for a full body massage. Get yourself in the zone by thinking about your dreams while someone soothes the kinks out of your muscles.

Some of you may find that doing all these is almost next to impossible, especially if you have a family to take care of. The trick here is to be resourceful. Try to create your own quiet spot in the house. Think about the best place for you. If you are creative enough, you’ll realize that there are hundreds of places you can think of. A drive to the store or picking a corner in the attic may be enough. The secret here is to plan ahead and choose a place where no one can invade it when you need that time alone. I personally find myself looking forward to a drive to the mall. Being alone in the car helps me think about the things I want to do while listening to my favorite tunes.

We all have a place we know as our own. The secret here is to be inventive. These spots, however simple they may be, can be our very own comfortable little nook where we can simply lock ourselves away from the world as we go into dreamland. This can be our very own dwelling, and no one else’s.

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Finding your Direction in Life

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Ever find yourself waking up one morning up full of zest and energy to pursue your life’s dreams and then realize six months later that you aren’t even one step closer to any of your goals? If you find yourself in this rut, then maybe it’s because you’ve been caught in a trap, the kind that is difficult to get out of. Where are you headed? You don’t know. Where have your dreams gone? On the back burner.

Most of us don’t know our direction in life. We live with so many dreams inside us but somehow we keep finding ourselves finding excuses to delay the pursuit of our goals. We offer up so many excuses: bills to pay, family to take care of, work to finish, etc. Too many excuses and too many delaying tactics. In the end, when we see that we haven’t accomplished much, we have no one to blame but us. We don’t want to live life this way. But then, who does?

We get off track time and again, as most people do. We get too caught up in life’s little hindrances that we forget to live in the moment, to enjoy the now! The reason for all the confusion may lie on the fact that our dreams are not as well-defined as we would want them to be. The problem here, therefore, is focus. We must have clarity of thought to know how we can accomplish what we want. We need a step-by-step plan that spells out what we have to do to get to the end. When we experience setbacks, we have to know how to deal with each of them. After all, nothing in life is perfect. There are just things that are way beyond our control, and if we live life going a step forward and then two steps back, we go further away from our dreams. The farther we go, the more impossible it will seem to get what we want.

It’s also important to acknowledge the situation we’re in. We all live in different environments and have different methods of coping with reality. The important thing is that we are in touch with the things that happen around us. Knowing how our surroundings affect us will give us clues on what to do with the inevitable limitations set on us. After that, we make a commitment to change the situation we are in and to track our growth on a regular basis.

We can sometimes fall flat on our faces and commit social faux pas along the way. If this happens, just remember it’s not the end of the world. We get up, keep moving, and come up with an even better plan. We don’t need to be super heroes to avoid traps. What we need is an interminable spirit to continue on despite mistakes. We have to be our own biggest supporter, the person who cheers the loudest during game time. Otherwise, who will believe in a person who doubts? Let us start chasing our dreams and stop running away from harsh reality.

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The Road Forward towards Self Actualization

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Moving Forward – Moving Up

When people ask us what we’d do if we only had a week to live, we would give so many answers. Most of these answers would center on making ourselves better as a person. We’ll ask for forgiveness, we’ll travel the world, and so on and so forth. But that’s just as far as it goes. We say all these things that we would want to do and give no thought as to how real the question could be.

Then, we find ourselves waking up one day not knowing where we’re exactly headed in life. Our relationships with others require love and respect. Why can’t we give the same to ourselves? We need to know what we’re worth and what we deserve so that we are more driven to do what we’ve always wanted.

To move up in life, to keep a steady growth, we need to follow a few simple rules:

• We have to set goals that are important to us. By setting a goal, we have something to look forward to, a driving force that will fuel or energize us. We need something to sustain our hunger or else we will find everything we do is futile.

• We need to trust in our own abilities. The notion that the grass is always greener in the other side is much like a death sentence. We shouldn’t compare what we have to what others have. All people are different; each of us unique unto ourselves. Don’t mind those people who constantly criticize us. A positive mind is the ticket to a successful journey.

  • Learn the power of meditation. Keeping our souls healthy can be beneficial to both our minds and bodies. By learning to channel our focus to something, we will be able to see things in a clearer light. A cool head does better in solving problems than a hot one.
  • Send those negative thoughts out the door. Negativity has never gotten anyone further. In fact, these thoughts can be our life’s biggest roadblock. Negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. It’s a vicious cycle that we all need to get out of. We all have the ability to get of this rut, raise ourselves up, and begin our journey.
  • Love ourselves. No one loves a person who doesn’t love himself. We need to learn how to be thankful for what we have and who we are. By knowing what we can do and believing in our abilities, we will always have the strength to drive forward.

By knowing what is good in each of us is not being egotistical. We don’t have to brag about it. The glow in our faces will be proof enough of how happy we are with the cards that life has dealt us with. For us to succeed and move up, we have to life free of regrets. Being proud of who we are will prove to be good for our psyche. As long as we live in harmony with ourselves, we are bound to fulfill our destiny.

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Build Your Self Confidence

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

The Power of Confidence

Someone once said that it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. Self-trust is what gets you to push your limits and take risks. Of the many secrets to success, self trust and self confidence are foremost. When travelling life’s rough roads, your strength is sometimes put to test. You stumble along the way, get lost, and realize just how many mistakes you’ve made. Each experience serves to enhance your knowledge in life. With new lessons learned, you’re given another set of tools to use for battle.

What will make you a winner is your ability to channel all your energy to fulfilling your goals. There things that you simply cannot control. The outside factors that affect your decisions change, and while you try not to wilt away; you must also face up to your challenges and responsibilities. Blaming others for the repercussions of the decisions that you made is the loser’s way out. Loser. What a horrible term to use, and even worse is when this insult is directed to you. The most important factor to consider is how you’ll react to these changes. In life, there are just some things that are out of our hands. You must have a Plan B for every important decision that you make, or else, a slight change can send your entire structure of cards falling down.

When you do fall down, what will set you apart from all the ordinary people is your ability to get up. The harder you’ll fall, the more you’ll strive. Winners just don’t quit. Even with their sore behinds, they simply get up and take these battle scars along with them as reminders of their courage and tenacity. Success only comes with some sacrifice on your end. Whoever said that becoming successful is easy must have been dreaming because if it were, then we all would have been wildly successful by now. Winners put in more hours than anybody else. If blood, sweat, and tears have to be offered, then you should do it without batting an eyelash. And if you feel that there are just too many forces working against you, you just don’t let these things break your heart. A broken heart is a shortcut to failure.

Another secret to success is to believe in your talent and abilities no matter what everybody else says. No one knows you better, and no one understands you more. It’s all in you, the knowledge and the capacity to surpass the things that hinder you from becoming who you can be. You can’t please everybody all of the time, and some of these people may discourage you to move forward. You need to learn how to channel these voices out and focus on making those who give you support happier.

When you keep these three secrets to success in mind, you can’t help but become the confident person that you should be. You need to know that you can do it. It may not be in the way that you wanted, but the point here is that you can. What sets winners apart from the rest is their ability to dream big and to know that their dreams can happen.

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