Archive for June, 2009

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Follow your Dreams

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

The Need to Continue Running the Rat Race or to Follow Your Dreams?

Today’s culture dictates that we have to study hard, work hard, and basically prioritize our career over everything else so that we can experience some semblance of happiness. Then society dictates that we need a respectable job to make a decent name for ourselves. We hear this message throughout our lives and it has made a dramatic impact on us all.

Many of us believe we are left with no choice but to jump on the bandwagon and keep on running. We can be likened to hamsters that simply go through the daily monotony with no questions asked. Then, we keep our true dreams locked inside for fear that some people may not believe us or laugh at our absurdity. What price do we pay for conformity? We lose a great part of ourselves simply because we want to fit this ideal mold that everyone thinks is proper.

The good news is, we no longer have to take the road that everyone uses. So many people have lost their jobs in the face of this recent economic downturn. Now is the chance to pursue our dreams, to answer our calling. This inner yearning comes from deep within the core of who we are as a person. Living this dream would bring us a genuine sense of well-being. When we do what we truly enjoy, we live more in the present. We may not make enough money with this type of career, but we enjoy it and live without any regret.

The secret to happiness is to become courageous and follow what we truly want. If we have the talent and the ability to sustain that dream, why not go for it? The world of today glamorizes certain lifestyles and careers. Reality says otherwise, however. We know that things are just different from what we see on television. The key to enjoying life is to stand strong and to not let what others think influence our final decision. This is where our inner strength takes the wheel because we shouldn’t let the views of others affect our search for fulfillment.

We also must bear in mind that following our dream doesn’t mean that we will always enjoy every moment of it. There will be times that we will be required to do things that we do not love. However, in the end, we get what we want. Life in itself is a surprise, and we may find ourselves being thrown a few surprises along the way.

Following our dream does not always mean that we will experience an overall sense of satisfaction, but this is far better than ignoring our inner cravings and putting them off until it never actually happens. Our fantasies may sometimes be outside our comfort zone but we have to learn to cement our decision just to make ourselves truly happy with how our life has turned out.

We must realize the master plan that is in store for each one of us. Though it requires conscious effort, we get to spend the rest of our lives without regret. Why? Because this is what and how it was meant to be. That simple! The seeds have been sown deep in our hearts and minds, and it is our job to reap the benefits of what we planted. By following what we truly desire, not only do we please ourselves, but we are also uplifting the spirit of the entire humanity!

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The Value of Honesty

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

“I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree”. It may be folklore, but it just goes to show the lasting impression that honesty and integrity gives. For over 200 years, George Washington has been known as an honest man.

Today we think about the significance of honesty and integrity.

When it comes to winning over the respect of people, honesty plays a major role in our success. Yes, our parents apparently hit the bull’s eye when they said that honesty is the best policy. However, many people mistake candor with tactlessness. Admittedly, there is sometimes a fine line between these two concepts. There are just some situations and people that we can’t agree with, and sometimes, we’re put on the spot when somebody asks for our opinion. Our friends may not mind our being frank because they simply know us better. Unfortunately, there are also people who just won’t be able to understand us. And why should they? Words can really be offensive when used out of context. It is actually up to us to decide how we are able to handle every situation with diplomacy.

It is then important that honesty should come with integrity. When we can’t say anything nice, then we might as well not say anything. To be rightfully honest is to also know how to be aware of the feelings of people. Empathy and a high emotional quotient play a big part here. We, ourselves, do not enjoy getting attacked by people we don’t really know. We have to differentiate right from wrong and know when it is most important to truly tell a person how we feel. Once we get into this sometimes too personal a zone, we have to leave all excess emotional baggage in the backseat for the simple reason that we should have an objective mindset when we talk to people.

The people around us react better to constructive criticism if they have enough sense to realize that we are only there with their best interests at heart, they are more likely open to listening to what we have to say. We also need to take a closer look at ourselves and know if we are the right person to do the job. This is the behavior of a person with a realistic image of himself or herself. We too are not perfect, but we also have to realize whether or not we are in the position to help.

Another question to ask is if our opinions are clouded by the beliefs of other people. If so, then maybe it is best that we walk away. Images are created by people, and they are not universally alike. We unconsciously create them from our experiences. Being honest with how we truly feel provides the means to see the symptoms of our own nature. We start to gain understanding when we also look deep into our very soul.

The principle behind telling the truth is making it possible to get what is an unprejudiced view of the situation. Once we know what our true intentions are and if they are pure, only then can we say that we can be honest. Let us then think with our brains and let our hearts show us the way to a clean and unsullied conscience.

In gist, if we want to become more honest people, we first must look into ourselves, know if it is the right thing to do, and try to handle every situation cautiously. The central concept of honesty is not to hurt other people. In fact, its main purpose is to find ways by which we can help others become the best that they can be.

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Improving Team Dynamics

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

Whether you lead a team or belong to a team, chances are that you should work on improving the team dynamics. The key is to understand the different motivations of each of the team’s members.

 Here’s a look at being a great team player regardless of your role.

 

Some people make great leaders, and while they can manage the team seamlessly, some have a hard time bequeathing this role to someone else. Could that person be you? Do you play well with others or would you rather do things alone if you can’t lead? Being a team player requires a very different mentality, a dissimilar state of mind.

Good social skills are a plus in a leader, but not a necessity. People have to follow you because you are considered an authority in your field. Though you may not be well-liked by the people on your team, they still have to follow you out of duty or respect. But to be a great team player is altogether another issue. You need to work well with the others on your team and complement your skill with theirs. It’s all about getting along professionally and personally.  You have to be able to manage your emotions and then be able to communicate to your fellow team members effectively. Adapt and have an intuitive sense of others in order to become understanding of everyone around you. You will to learn to take into account everyone’s viewpoints in order to make the good of the collective stronger and more effective.

The skill set for the Captain is pivotal to the success of any team, but more than that are the individual attributes of the players who do all the manual labor, so to speak. The members of the team are usually the people known for coordination and hard work. In a way, there has to be a leader in every person. It has to be in them to go further than what they are required to do and make sure that the ones that surround them also get the credit for the effort they put in. There should be no thirst for power with any member and they must have the ability to pick up the slack that others leave behind.

Sometimes, your goals will differ from the goals of others. You must make sure to keep the team’s goals on your priority list. You also should have the initiative to learn more about the dynamics of the team and what it takes to accomplish the desired end-state. Try to think about reaching that goal as the absolute destination, and not just a possibility.

Each player must recognize his or her individual strengths so that he knows what to provide the team with and which skills are most useful. You must establish your strength from the very beginning so that the leader is in a better position to put you in a task where you excel and are most comfortable in.

Lastly, be helpful. There may be occasions wherein a team member will become so engulfed in their own tasks that they fail to realize the others who are struggling. The ‘to each his own’ attitude simply doesn’t work here. After all, the team is only as strong as its weakest member. By being more aware of the things around you, you completely eliminate any kind of weakness and actually become a force to be reckoned with.

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Work on Your Work Attitude

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

What makes the television show, The Office, so funny is the embodiment of the various attitudes that one finds in the workplace. We just have to laugh when we recognize the outrageous behavior that we encounter day in and day out. Here’s a look at how to improve our work attitudes. Let’s work on NOT becoming the next character in The Office!

Improve Your Work Attitude

Office work is stressful. It’s something that you simply can’t avoid. The real world puts so many demands on you that you sometimes have to find a balance between work and play. More often than not, work trumps personal time simply because it sustains your lifestyle. Those that don’t put their responsibilities before everything else end up losing their job because they aren’t able to deliver. However, this is not to say that you have to forget your personal life just so you can continue your climb up the ladder of success. What you do apart from your job helps you relax your mind. If you give yourself time to relax, you will be able to cope with the demands better. The last thing you want is a burnout. This is far worse than not putting any effort at all because you will also let your health suffer along the way.

To have a happy and healthy work attitude, you have to manage your stress. Your work environment can set limits on the ways you can cope with your demands. If watching TV helps you, you certainly cannot do this in the office. There are ways to relieve the stress while you are at work. The secret is to not wait for the stress levels to go up. Here are a few tips that can help you improve your work attitude so that you can be a better performer in the office:

1. Start living a healthy lifestyle. With the right amount of nutrients in your body and the proper exercise, you will find that you have more energy, and with more energy to back you up, you are able to achieve more things with the amount of time allotted for your job.
2. Manage your time by making a schedule. Cramming is the worst possible thing you can ever do. Having a calendar to follow enables you to know how much you can allocate for a certain type of work. That way, you also are able to spread your responsibilities in a way that you fulfill a little of what you have to do each day.

3. Keep a happy and healthy attitude. Smiling helps you relax. This may sometimes be the most difficult thing to do, especially when pressure builds up. Nonetheless, you also have to trust in yourself and in your abilities. If you give your all for work, then there is no other person better suited for the job. Sometimes, things just can’t be accomplished immediately, and that’s just a truth you have to accept.
4. Avoid procrastination. Know that the more you put off work for later, the more it piles up. Time is of the essence and every minute spent doing nothing is a dollar wasted.

5. Clear your clutter. Signs of clutter are generally perceived by the mind as a distraction. Being organized helps you find things more easily, and time spent looking for a file is also time wasted.

Work attitude is connected to work habit. Just make sure that you equip yourself with the right attitude and know that the more willing you are to attain and finish your responsibilities, the more people will also respect you. If you surround yourself with people who look up to you, your office environment will definitely be more pleasant. Remember, happier people are generally more productive.

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Grow from Working Harder to Working Smarter

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Most of us have to work for a living. Even those of us who are blessed enough to work for ourselves and not answer to a boss, however, are usually bound to our work. Let’s look at our work habits and how we can improve them.

The Difference between Working Hard and Working Smart

Some claim that they are one of the best workers in their industry simply because of the hours they put in for work. I happen to somewhat disagree with this. To an extent, you do have to dedicate time for work. In the end, however, it is the quality of your work that people look at rather that the hours of service you gave.

Getting more done with less time is somewhat of an art. The task requires much heart, but you must keep in mind that working smart comes before everything else. Burning the midnight oil at some point can be detrimental to your health. If you lack sleep and are fatigued with all the demands placed on you, your work may suffer. How do you expect to focus when you’re too tired to do anything else?

Yes, working hard reaps a lot of rewards, but experience tells me that the best way to achieve success is to work hard at working smart. How do you do this? First, you have to be more flexible. Changes come in everyday, and sometimes, in the middle of the project, you may find that you will have to change a lot of the things. Instead of whining and complaining, know that this comes with the territory. Grown-ups deal with it every day, and being a grown-up yourself, you have to be gracious at accepting everything.

Another problem would be is that people do tend to procrastinate. I am guilty of it myself, but I’ve also had to learn my lesson the hard way. The more I put off, the higher my pile of responsibilities gets. If you do this, you definitely will end up disappointing more people than pleasing them. That is why it is also important to plan ahead. Elaborate in the steps to take and take it easy. Haste makes waste! The more you panic, the messier your output becomes.

Simply observe your colleagues and you will notice that those who are most successful are those who are able to multi-task and balance their responsibilities. Juggling several things all at one time does not have to be confusing. You just have to know which of these tasks go together so that you are not left bewildered.

Double the time does not necessarily mean double the result. This is an act of practicing to perfect the habit. It helps to update yourself on the recent technological advances as well. These machineries were invented to make work easier on man. Know which program works best for you and avoid stressing yourself with things that are just way too confusing. The good thing about today’s developments is that designers have made software simpler and easier to use. These so-called inventors know that this is what everybody needs and have therefore designed programs that were better to understand.

To succeed, and achieve higher plateaus, requires that we constantly have to strategize. You will find that communication has given you easy access to reading materials that will help you achieve your goal.

Read up and learn. In the end, you’ll realize just how much you’ve learned and how it is quite simple to put the theories into good practice.

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Healing Broken Hearts with Love

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

A Heart that Heals

Physical injuries are easily noticed by people. Moreover, a cut, a broken bone, or a bruise can easily be treated by doctors. Emotional injuries, on the other hand, tend to run deeper. They hide in our subconscious and can sometimes stay there for a very long time. It can easily be hidden, but is much harder to treat. At some point in our lives, most of us have, in some considerable way, been hurt and wounded.  The physical wounds can be seen and the forms of remedy are fairly straightforward and uncomplicated. 

The hurt that takes place in our minds and in our hearts are not so easy to see. We choose to hide them in the darkest recesses of our minds. This is what many call denial. Although many of us know that it’s best to deal with the issues, we often find ourselves feeling powerless, unable to free ourselves from the chains that burden us with the weight. The more we try to run away from it, the faster it seems to catch up to us.

To be able to heal ourselves from the pain, we have to address it rather than run away.  We often lack the ability to understand the true significance of coping with it. Fact is, when we face these issues, we are able to understand the reasons behind it. Our experiences sometimes tell us to have expectations that are not necessarily accurate.  We live in this small box and refuse to see anything beyond what is real to us. At the heart of healing is an experience. It is being able to live in the moment of suffering rather than locking ourselves away and shutting out the rest of the world.

We try to find ways to cope with it, maybe through alcohol or by whisking ourselves to a place far away. We have to allow ourselves to feel what is deep inside us to become aware of reality. After all, we can never run away from it and stalling only seems to make things worse. Whatever may have caused this deep pain, we should cease to continually question the entire situation. Whether it is the loss of a loved one or a fight with a friend, things happen simply because they were meant to.

What we most need during these trying times is the presence of people who truly and unconditionally love us. Love can come in many forms: in the comforting embrace of a family member, in the prayers of a friend, or in the good wishes of the people we meet. When the pain is just too unbearable to bear, it is not always possible to respond to it immediately. We need to constantly experience these little blessings in order to respond to it. That is why it is most important to cultivate healthy relationships with the people that surround us. What happens if you’ve surrounded yourself with a great support system is the ability to get over the pain more quickly. We have to give love to get love. Believe me, this will be your greatest blessing because we know that we will always have someone to lean on when the burden just gets too heavy.

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Improving Conversation Skills

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Enhancing Your Conversation Skills

You meet people along the way, people you have very little in common with. Somehow, you find yourself occupying the same room, and then you’re forced to acknowledge that person. Making simple conversation can become very difficult. In fact, small talk doesn’t really amount to much, especially if it’s forced.

All of us intuitively know when we are about to have a difficult conversation with somebody. Yet, there are still a few of us who do not have any trouble striking up random conversations. Usually, difficulty happens when we know that there is a likely chance that negative feedback will occur. Some conversations may also seem difficult because we think that there are just too many things at stake. We have already taken a position wherein a retraction will lead to embarrassment. Which is why, it is important that we reflect on things before we put our foot in our mouths.

Below are a few guide questions we must ask ourselves before we get into a form of interaction:

  1. What do I want from this conversation?
  2. What can I expect from it?
  3. What sort of fears will crop up midway?
  4. Am I making assumptions about the person I’m about to talk to?
  5. Am I willing to listen and understand?

For interaction to be successful, we need to step out of the box and be objective about everything. There are so many things to talk about. You can start by asking about the person and his or her background. Move on from there and try not to put too much into it, otherwise things will just come out too contrived. If the person refuses to make any effort, then stop blaming yourself. After all, it takes two to tango.

People who refuse to open up are less likely to achieve popularity. You need to stop putting all the blame on you. When you meet people like this, all you need to do is nicely walk away. Say goodbye and move on to a more open individual.

You need to understand other people: what motivates them and how they think. More than that, you need to accurately read their body language. People who are genuinely interested will look at you in the eye and listen to what you have to say. To be point-blank about reading a person’s thought needs practice. Get yourself out there and learn. After all, it is only through constant exposure will you learn the ins and outs of a situation. You also need to be in touch with yourself and your code of ethics. It takes practice to observe the dynamics between to people. Then, you need to have the courage to explore the community you live in. Culture plays a big part in forming a person’s frame of mind. Understand what that person believes in and what is important to them. The person will be more responsive if they feel that you sympathize with their beliefs. You need not embrace their principles, but at least you are willing to understand the why’s and what’s of it all.

The success of a dialogue is highly dependent on emotional awareness. When people see that you are trying to understand them and at the same time, give them unobstructed inputs of your views, then they will be more willing to get to know you more.

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Oh Woe is Me

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Woe is Me? Or Make Lemonade Out of Lemons. It’s our choice!

When times are tough, as with the current economic recession, it is always easy to give in to depression and constantly moan about the woes of life. There are just too many worries to constantly think about: bills to pay, family to care for, and so on. The problems never end. The fact is, they never do! As you make your journey through life, you will always encounter barriers and hurdles. These are trials meant to test your strength and improve your will. Rather than simply give up and cry your frustrations out, you may want to look around you and see that no one is exempt from problems.

Self pity may get you sympathy at first, but if this is a repetitive behavior, don’t be surprised if you lose friends along the way. When you’ve become the black hole for energy, people will avoid you like a plague. No one wants to be surrounded with sadness, and no one can take a whiner for too long a period. You have yet to meet the person who never struggles with frustration. This comes with the territory of being human. It is not wrong to be frustrated, but it is how we handle our frustration that counts.

One of the most effective ways to change how you react to negativity is to change how you see it and what you do about it. Self pity is a shortcut to the path of destruction. When you give in to depression, you are basically saying that you don’t have it in you to solve the problem. In fact, you are just aggravating the situation. You yell, curse, and cry, yet the problem still remains unsolved.

On the other hand, a more productive solution would be to view frustration is as a chance for improving your abilities to solve the problem. If you get frustrated, try to have an outlet. Go talk to a friend, visit a specialist, or pound that hammer away in your garage. You need to let it out and find a way to express your explosive emotions rather than keep it locked inside. If this is your constant practice, expect the dam to break sooner or later. Instead, ask yourself what the possible solutions are. The thing about self-pity is that if you can’t get others to feel sorry for you, you can always just feel sorry for yourself.

Pity parties are always a party of one because no one wants to be on the guest list. Just know that when you catch yourself in this state, you tend to lose perspective. You lose sight of the big picture and will be unable to spot the solution that may just be right under your nose. When you are too caught up in your problems, you’ll be too busy to even notice the faintest flicker of hope.

You must find ways to bounce back. Be the victor, not the victim. Life is a marathon, and your goal should be not to win it all the time. Instead, you need to focus on your running and learning not to quit. Instead of making excuses on your failure, you must learn to get back up and let your creative juices flow so that you can achieve what you want most. Have a worthwhile goal, one that deserves a spot in your loved ones’ minds. If your life were a book, let it fall under the inspirational category.

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The Power of Self-Confidence

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

The Need for Self-Confidence

We all have hidden fears that we don’t always want to share with friends. These fears often leave us paralyzed. When the need to overcome these fears is required, we sometimes choose to take the easy way out: hide and run for cover.

In order to succeed in life, we first have to believe in ourselves. All this talk about finding ways to achieve success is pointless when we just don’t trust our own talents and abilities. Without self confidence, we won’t have the tools to face life’s challenges with equanimity. The dilemma we sometimes face is not knowing how to gain self confidence when we don’t really have it in us. Do we really have to experience success first before we believe in ourselves? Maybe, but then again, many set themselves up to be discouraged before they’ve even tried anything.

To make your goals more attainable, you can make it more manageable by breaking down your larger goal into smaller ones. The chances for success here then increase. Then, make sure that you celebrate each small feat that you overcome.

Self image is another important factor. If you constantly criticize yourself, you will never feel adequate. Remember, negativity begets negativity.  This low self image is sometimes the by-product of your life experiences as you face the devastating blows of your wrong choices. You need to realize that these mistakes will never hold you down as long as you don’t allow them to. You need to look at now, not yesterday! What have you learned from the blunder? Use this and let this serve as a guide as you continue on life’s path. And then there are people who also affect the way you look at yourself. The decision of whether or not spend some toxic time with these individuals is all up to you. Learn to put your foot down and seek out those who can be more helpful to your overall growth.

You need to see yourself as inherently worthy. Be aware of how unique you are and realize that you are more than capable of contributing to the good of the world. Pay attention to only those who want what’s best for you and turn a deaf ear to those who just want to see you go down. The ones that deserve your time are the ones who recognize your inner strength. Look at yourself in a more positive light and start to see what you are actually blessed with.

Your self image is intimately intertwined with your destiny. You have to guard you thoughts against feelings of inadequacy. The power of a positive vision should never be underestimated. This is what helped the most successful people on their way to the top. Rule of thumb states that the clearer the goal is, the higher your self confidence gets. Even the most capable mind and body need a good dose of self confidence. Only with trusting yourself and knowing what you are capable of will you ever be able to attain success.

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The Courage to Keep On Keeping On

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

Courage and Resilience

Courage is defined as the ability to face fears with our heads held high. It is not the absence of trepidation that we can truly say that we are brave. In fact, people experience fear everyday, and sometimes are even paralyzed by it. We are allowed to feel all these things. In fact, we should! Otherwise, we wouldn’t be human if we were immune to the many types of emotions. It does not require sacrificing our lives all of the time. In fact, we all have the makings of a real hero, and in our own little ways, we can show that we are willing to face all the trials that life throws in our way.

The opportunity to be courageous is inside us all and we are given many opportunities where we can practice this. We sometimes do everything to avoid these uncomfortable situations. As we face the Goliath of our inner David, we get scared of the unknown and of the possibility that we will lose. We can’t help but flinch and run away.
That is why, in times like these we need to know that there are things around us that can help us. We have to know that we all have the innate ability to summon all our strength and stand our ground.

Here are just a few tips that may help us along the way:

1. We have to know what we have. Fear can rule us and paralyze us if we let it. Then, instead of facing something manageable, we face a puffed up illusion of the fear. We have to realize that we always have someone to lean on. Pray and ask the people in our lives to help us through the ordeal, no matter how small or big it is. Our insecurities may be huge in our minds that this can seem insurmountable, but the only way we can overcome them is to face them and push ourselves towards them. We have people we can count on. This is not to say that we forgo all our responsibilities and let them handle all of it. We have to know that we still must go through it, but a hand to hold makes a world of difference.

2. We need to learn to discover what’s beyond our comfort zone. When we have to confront something, it takes an element of risk into the unknown. If there are risks involved, it does mean we have to let go of it simply because we do not know what to do. The more we confront the fear, the easier it becomes in our lives. The risk of threat is always around. If we always give up, we will digress and destroy our lives. What will make us stronger is our ability to always get up every time we fall.

3. We need to face life with optimism. We have to know that there are just things that are beyond our control. Accept these things and change the way we respond to the situation. Instead of it bringing us down, we must find ways to make it work to our advantage. This takes practice, but once we are able to alter our attitude, we will see that life does not throw us problems that we can’t handle.

Courage and resilience go hand in hand because it brings healthy growth. Nature has gifted us with the ability to adapt. It is now up to us to discover how to use it.

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